RATIONS #3: CULTURE SHOCK

[GURGLING, BONES SHIFTING] Felicitations, sentient Earthlings—allow me to introduce myself. My people come from far beyond your icy “Oort Cloud”. We are sociological empaths; each of the delegation-cultures which has fanned out from Orion to touch other worlds are diplomats of the mind and wanderers stochastic. I am one such delegation-culture, and my million-million bodies are not unlike your Earth bacteria (though my degree of intelligence is, of course, far higher). My name, transliterated so that you may pronounce it, is Colony. For decades now I have lain dormant in the bodies of your people; I have spread and multiplied to become a global pathogen which knows no national borders, no divisions of culture or class. My integration, which has been deep and thorough to the level atomic, has reflected a relationship of exchange—with each body that I convert to my purposes, I begin to understand the human mind, the human heart, that much more, for you see this is my people’s way— we come bearing no particular message; we merely listen until we have learned to speak your language. Now, after ten Solar years of total immersion, I am pleased to announce my newfound purpose, and it is this: to sell you one-of-a-kind extraterrestrial defense solutions at low, low prices! [AUDIO ENDS]

CULTURE SHOCK is an NPC pamphlet for FIST that adds a randomly-appearing merchant to any campaign - namely, a sentient alien pathogen named Colony, which possess its hosts after they've died. Once a dead body has safely risen again as Colony, it will scrape together a humble camp—perhaps a crate to sit on, a lantern to see by, and an oil drum to contain a bonfire. Once situated, the host will flag down FIST with broad cadaverous gestures and carnivalistic flair, offering wares sold at “the lowest legal prices this side of the Perseus Arm!” 

While browsing the wares of Colony, you will find:

• BACTERIAL SORCERY - Using a mutated and miniaturized version of Maze Rats' magic system, browse a catalog of strange infections which changes each time Colony appears. Will you disarm your enemies with "magnetic fingertips"? Ignite an interrogation with the threat of a "burning brain" pod? Say goodbye to your friends very quickly if you gain "melting bones"?
• NEW CONTEXT - Search every mission for balloons, high-powered magnets, and vacuum tubes for trade-in. Colony has infected a large portion of the world, and can randomly appear in any mission, as anyone who has recently died. Will it control the main villain of your campaign, turning their gang of villains into a booming business? Will CYCLOPS hunt it down, never to eat a neon sign again?
• SOME GOOD THINGS ON SALE, STRANGER - Buy temporary or permanent bacteria pods with randomized effects. Outfit your weapons with BIO-ROUNDS and watch your enemies squirm. Wear a BIO-SLEEVE and feel your second skin breathe.